Parts of this post have been sitting in my drafts for almost a month now. I start thinking about things and get fired up about topics, then figure instead of letting all of these thoughts swirl inside my head I might as well get them out. Everyone has a story. And while no two stories are exactly the same, they are often similar. I know that hearing others’ struggles often helped me realize that I too was struggling. Hearing those stories and relating to them, eventually then led to a positive change down the road. So today I am thinking out loud and chatting about food, exercise, and body image.
I’ve been listening to various podcasts lately and reading more and more articles with topics surrounding body image. Not just having a positive a body image because that is easier said than done. But more so understanding a woman’s body. How everyone’s genetic disposition, hormones, etc. play a huge role in the type of body we are actually meant to have –– not the one we try to manipulate year after year through fad weight loss diets and exercise.
I guess maybe when you’ve tried everything under the sun to get the body you think you need but either never achieve it, or when you achieve it and life quite frankly just sucks… then you probably understand.
Awareness is key
At some point you will become aware that your so-called “healthy habits” maybe aren’t so healthy after all… I wasn’t aware until I started reading others’ stories, which is why I am writing what I am right now. Sometimes you’re in so deep you don’t realize how your thoughts and decision are affecting you. But eventually all of the tracking, restricting, negative though patterns start to catch up with you. You realize that it is no way to live your life. In a constant state of fear around food.
.
.
.
Drew and I were out to eat the other night. He asked if I wanted to order an appetizer since we were both starving. I said, “Yeah, sure. You pick.” He chose fried mushrooms. I said, “Sounds good to me – I’m so hungry…”
Two or three years ago I would have silently shuddered to myself… “Ugh, fried mushrooms? They’re so unhealthy. I can’t eat those. They’re just fat…” I would have maybe eaten one. Silently reprimanding myself for eating one because they were “bad” and didn’t belong in my diet. I’m sure many of you can relate. Having those good food/bad food feelings.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately how thankful I am that those times have passed for me. The constant stress I put myself under to make sure pretty much everything I ate was healthy, clean, whatever you want to call it. I look back on those years and can admit I was restricting too much. For what? To try and become a certain size that I was truly never meant to be? I will admit sometimes it is hard looking back on pictures from three to four years ago, and seeing how much my body has changed. Overall I have more muscle on me but my body is just changing. And guess what? That’s normal.
What is not normal
When all of your thoughts are consumed by what food to eat.
Thinking about foods you should avoid at all costs.
Over-exercising and under-eating.
Then be able to flip that all around and actually start enjoying food again. And not obsess over every. single. ingredient.
There are plenty of “unhealthy” foods that I restricted back in the day, that I actually just don’t care for anymore. I think that is bound to happen when you start eating a more whole foods diet. BUT, there are also plenty of “unhealthy” foods, for lack of a better word, that taste pretty freaking awesome. And there is also a difference between the inner dialogue you may have with yourself. For example: “I actually don’t even like those anymore…” versus “I can’t eat those anymore… but shit I really really want one…”
You don’t have to swear off certain foods because you think they’re going to make you (insert negative body image feelings here). Dairy is not the devil. Gluten is not the devil. Sugar is not the devil. Do I believe in eating the way that is going to make you feel your best? Absolutely. Do I share recipes on my site for certain food intolerance and allergies? Yes. But everyone is different and what works for one person doesn’t mean it is going to work for you. Everyone is on their own journey.
But also: balance and moderation
BALANCE and MODERATION are big players in figuring out how to have a healthier relationship with food and exercise. How you incorporate that into your lifestyle is going to be different than how someone else approaches it. You may have to ask yourself if you really need a third cookie at lunch… And if you had the third cookie, get in some extra veggies for dinner, you know? It’s not the end of the world. Life is meant to be enjoyed and you only have one, so do you really want to spend it constantly thinking about what you should or shouldn’t eat?
I’m not preaching anything new here… But I am glad that positive overall wellness and positive body image are a hot topic right now. I think it allows us to gain some perspective on some underlying issues we may have, or had in the past. I think it allows us to be honest with ourselves, and shift our focus from how we look, to how we feel.
You know what I am saying?
The shift doesn’t happen overnight and I think it will probably be something you deal with for a very, very long time. But if you start getting honest with yourself about how you feel towards certain foods, that is a step in the right direction.
P.S. If you want to read/listen more about the subject of balance, positive body image, intuitive eating, wellness, etc. you may find these links helpful.
Unlearning Food Rules, Intuitive Eating & Body Acceptance with Kylie Mitchell from Imma Eat That – In it 4 the Long Run Chasing Joy Podcast
You Don’t Have to Believe What you Think – Imma Eat That
4 Signs You’re Not Eating Enough – The Real Life RD
What Else I Gained When I Gained 15 Pounds – Emilie Eats
How to Listen to Your Body – The Balanced Berry
The Healthy Maven Podcast So many great episodes around body image and wellness, but definitely check this one out Episode 12 “Is there a downside to the wellness industry?” and Episode 18 How to quit the dieting cycle and manage our blood sugar
Do you have a story surrounding food, body image and/or exercise you’d like to share? I genuinely want to hear from you <3 Feel free to reach out via email if you’d like: fitmittenkitchen(at)gmail(dot)com
much thanks to Amanda for the series “thinking out loud”
Disclaimer: I’m not a professional, nutritionist, health coach or registered dietitian. I’m just sharing my experience and thoughts because sometimes hearing other’s stories helps you realize your own <3 I highly suggest seeking professional help if you’re struggling.
Emilie @ Emilie Eats says
Thanks so much for linking my blog post, Ashley <3 I'm so thankful that positive body image and COMPLETE health without a focus on weight is so popular to talk about right now. Of course, we run the risk of it being "trendy" right now and not-so-cool later, but I believe it's up to us as influencers to keep up the conversation. So happy you're in a good place now. 🙂
Ashley says
So true Emilie! I hope people don’t see these conversations as “trendy” but as genuinely wanting to help others on their journey <3 I'm so happy for you and proud of you!!
Erin @ Erin's Inside Job says
Yeah gurrrrrrl get it!
Ashley says
<3 <3 <3
Leah M | love me, feed me says
Thank you so much for sharing, Ashley <3 this post is so well done and so on point. I found myself "mhm"-ing constantly. My relationship with my body and food has been a rollercoaster ride, but every time I'm able to listen to my body and enjoy whatever it's craving – it feels like such a win.
Again – thank you for using your voice to talk about such an important topic. I'd love to see more personal bits and pieces of your life toooo <3
Ashley says
Aw thank you Leah! I know so many people can relate to this topic and instead of hiding and feeling shameful about it, we should speak out and help one another. I’m glad you enjoyed and so thankful for your support! <3
Robin | CaliGirl Cooking says
Love this! Everything you said is spot on and exactly the message I try to spread on my blog as well. Mine is a long story (and one I’ve shared on the blog) so I’ll spare all the details here, just wanted to let you know I’m in your corner and hope we can all continue to spread the word together!!
Ashley says
It’s such an important message and happy to hear you’re spreading it as well 🙂 thanks Robin!
Emily says
So incredibly thankful you posted this. It has been wonderful seeing the big food bloggers like you, Emilie, and others post their journeys with intuitive eating and exercise and really listening to their bodies. I love how you differentiated between being obsessed over food and just being intuitive with your body’s needs. It’s so true that our bodies won’t always crave sugar and fried food, and I think for some reason, we fear that when we’re restoring our relationship with food, but it’s just not true.
Thankful for you and thankful for your journey.
Ashley says
Yes so true! We really just need to work on our mindset and relationship with those sugary, fried foods – they don’t need to be “bad” <3 Thank you for your comment Emily! <3
Andrea @ French Pressed Kitchen says
Love this post 🙂 Balance is definitely key! And just slowing down to listen to what your body actually needs/ wants. Which is often a paleo chocolate chip cookie for me ?? I need that cookie shirt!
Ashley says
Thank you Andrea! Slowing down to listen and just be aware is so important <3
Pal says
Proud of you for continually helping your readers and others understand that the current status quo on body image and food and exercise is not ok. You are part of the shifting culture!
Ashley says
Thank you Pal!! I love you <3
Liz @ pumpkin & peanut butter says
I was in a very similar place about 7 years ago and it was the WORST. I constantly thought about what I ate, ingredients I used, calories I was intaking— food was constantly on my mind and not in a good way. Thank you so much for sharing this! We need all the positive body image and healthy wellness media out there as possible!
Ashley says
Happy you’re in a better place Liz! It takes a while to get out of that mindset but at some point it also becomes so mentally exhausting, you realize you just don’t want to do it anymore! Thankful for others sharing their stories and we can all work through the journey together 🙂
candace says
Really needed to read this. I was hospitalized almost two years ago from over exercising and anorexia/orthorexia. I’ve been weight stable for over a year now but am still struggling so much every day, constantly obsessing over exercising (doesn’t help that I’m a crossfit coach) and sticking to my meal plan. I don’t restrict food groups but if it doesn’t fit in my plan or I don’t know the nutritional value I panic so bad. This gives me hope that maybe one day it’ll get a little easier. Will definitely check out the links you posted, thanks!
Ashley says
Aw thank you so much for sharing Candace! It is hard at first and it is a constant practice! Another resource that may help you (if you haven’t heard of her) is Jill Coleman at jillfit.com She shares so much about mindset, balance, moderation, etc. while still working towards aesthetic goals – which I personally think there is nothing wrong with, as long as you’re not letting those goals affect other areas of your life in a negative way. I highly recommend getting on her email list as she shares some really valuable insight!
Ashley @ A Lady Goes West says
Hi Ash! Great post! I think it’s very hard for women out there today — especially because the “healthy living” and wellness industry is constantly making people feel downright bad about themselves at times. I’m so weary of the AVOID DAIRY and GLUTEN and SUGAR at all costs! Like what? You mean you are going to go through life and not eat birthday cake? That’s just sad. I know some people have real allergies, and that’s incredibly hard for them — but we shouldn’t be casting off food groups in the name of wellness for no reason. And I LOVE to hear more people talk about body image and finding a way to be more positive about what you were given. Amen! Thanks for sharing this!
Ashley says
Thanks Ashley! I definitely have to agree about being weary of avoiding certain food groups. I think that’s where shifting from black and white thinking to moderation and balance are key <3 Thanks for your comment!